Yesterday, Mommy had to sign her name FOUR times, and the man who was here for her to fill out the paperwork was so kind and so relaxed that Mommy actually didn't stress over it very much at all.
It helped too, I'm sure, that she was in surroundings that have become a comfort-zone to her. The last time I tried to have her sign her name was at a doctor's office where I was stressed out, and I know she picks up on that. (Of course, she was still troubled that she couldn't write "very well" . . . and she kept saying things like, "I don't know when I got so bad," or "I'm not doing this very well.")
However, she wrote "Marilyn" with beautiful penmanship twice. Then, the third time she said, "Should I write the other one too?" and the man said, "If you want to you can, but you don't have to." So, the third signature Mommy wrote: "Marilyn O'Connor." She wrote it beautifully. At that moment, her mind was back somewhere before the above photo. She was a little girl writing out her name with a perfect, well-formed, although just a bit shaky, hand.
Something must have started troubling her though, because for her fourth signature she only got a few letters of her first name. Probably, somewhere in the back of her mind some connection was tickling her conscience, letting her know that something was a little off. Or maybe it was just my reaction? I was behind her. She couldn't see me at all, but she picks up on vibes. She is so intuitive. It seems to me that intuition and reading emotions aren't put at much of a disadvantage by the theft of her memory. In fact, I almost think that she's even more in tune with what others are feeling than she was before, and she was always empathetic and intuitive.
Since she wrote it, I've tried to process and kind of analyze how I felt about her being "Marilyn O'Connor" in her mind. That was, after all, pre-me, and I've decided that I don't need her to remember me or who I am to know she loves me.
That's a nice picture of Grandma and Grandpa!!!! I'm glad Grandma was able to write her name. :) I probably would have laughed when she wrote her name Marliyn O'Connor. ;) But I laugh at too many things that aren't funny.
ReplyDeleteThey say that older people who have memory problems revert to somewhere before their 20th birthday. At least that's what I read before mom came to stay with us. She does remember daddy though, we all know that from things she says. I think even though she acts like she doesn't remember us, subliminally she knows that she is connected to us somehow. Those times when she looked at me with sad tearful eyes and said I'm sorry Jeanie that you have to do all this, that broke my heart. I think during those times she realized that most time she doesn't know who we are and it broke her heart too. I miss mommy, I miss her old self and I miss her new self. Please give her a big hug and kiss for me!
ReplyDeleteI will give her a hug and a kiss from you in about two minutes here :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
ReplyDelete