That's the first bad news. The second bad news is that the State still hasn't approved the budget for them to give me the Jochebed wages for caring for Mom. Every week that passes hundreds of dollars go from the "might happen" to the "didn't happen" pile in my soul. I feel a little like "psyche" . . . you know . . . imagine that you're a little thirsty and someone offers you a drink, and then suddenly you realize that you're really thirsty, and right at that moment, they pull the drink away and say: "Psyche! You thought I was going to give that to you, didn't you? Ha ha ha. Psyche." Then, in this instance, in the case of these wages, my frustration that I'm not going to actually get paid melts down into guilt that I'm frustrated about it at all, because I shouldn't (AND I'M NOT) do this for any money anyway. I am caring for Mommy because I love her, first off, and secondly because we, her children, have a responsibility to care for her, and it's my turn.
Yesterday I gave her Tylenol once again. She'd been so achy the day before that I gave her Tylenol in the morning (with homemade applesauce), and she was way better (less achy seeming and happier) during the day. I'm not sure if the achy she was the day after the doctor was because of the B12 shot, or the trip, or because I'd stopped giving her those two Tylenol with her vitamins every morning, or something else altogether. Everything is so interconnected and overlapping and confusing. I never can be sure what is cause/effect or just correlation and happening anyway. So, today, she'll get a couple Tylenol in her mashed banana as I try and figure it all out.
[EDIT: Went straight from posting this to my daily Lenten video that talks today all about the fruits of the Holy Spirit . . . and how to know if we are allowing the Spirit to work in our lives . . . the post above is a very "non-fruit-of-the-Holy-Spirit" rant. :-( . . . . . . . . . I guess the plea for prayer at the end was really the best direction I could try to turn . . .]
I am sorry you are having a difficult day! I am praying for you. I don't know about PA but at a local reduce company we get apples by the case for about 15 dollars a box. I got up before dawn even though Al did not have to work today. My alarm was not even set! I could not sleep so rather than lie there I cleaned most of the kitchen and then made breakfast for him. Now that the children are all up and fed I am off for a short "power nap" and then I am gonna get back to work. Praying for you, our siblings, and all our families. Love you!!
ReplyDeleteI have got to find out where to get apples like that here! My lazy self doesn't get my research done! Googling now.
ReplyDeleteYou should make a sign that reads "the glad game!" And put it somewhere that you will see it to remember to look for the bright side. :-) ....I should do that too!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust call the local to you places and ask if they sell to the public and then ask for prices-that's what I did here with the local companies. :)
ReplyDeletehttps://www.careersingrocery.com/wholesale-produce-pennsylvania.cfm
Will do! I have a hard time remembering to play the glad game when I need it most.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I'm also going to find out about the apples :-) I found a place where we can order a box of veg from local farmers - we have to pay for it all at the beginning of the summer, and then they prepare a box of whatever is produced every week until the week before Thanksgiving! I'm so excited!
A CSA! Cool! I think it would be nice if Al could have a CSA farm. It would be something he would really enjoy and be very good at! :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kretschmannfarm.com/how-it-works
ReplyDeleteI'll have to check that link out later! Getting Al's lunch packed for work now!
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