Thursday, December 11, 2014

Home Visits (and music box magic)

I've been really depressed over the last few days as I've not had any idea what I should be doing with Mommy and what I shouldn't be doing.

I remember, years ago, telling God that if He would just plainly tell me what I should do, I would do that thing.  This is when Stephan and I had just realized that Stephan would never pass his oral exams at Baptist Bible College if he didn't believe at the time of those exams- if I remember correctly - that sign gifts stopped at the end of the second century and that the rapture would for sure, no other possibility occur before a seven year tribulation.  For both these things, we felt the proof-texting and required extra Biblical supports made for a very uncertain certainty, and we could NOT say we believed those things. We could only say that we thought that they were possibilities among other likely possibilities.

At that time, our whole life was in flux, and we didn't know what God wanted from us, and we were both just wanting to do what was right, to be good, but how to "be good" wasn't clear-cut and simple.  Instead, it was all complex and confusing, and it involved making decisions without actually being positive which path was the right one.  We were like the man in the Lady or the Tiger only we didn't have the confidence to "turn with firm and rapid step" when we chose which doors to open in our lives, we always walked instead with faltering steps and many missteps and opened a lot of the wrong doors.

Through all this, I often thought to myself, if I just had clear instructions, I would do what I needed to do.  I would be obedient.  I would do whatever I was supposed to do.

That's the same way I felt about caring for Mommy.  If I just had a checklist and knew exactly what I was supposed to do, I thought, I would do that thing.

Yesterday as I sat in Mommy's room while she slept and used a flashlight to read my prayerbook and to pray my prayers and brought these concerns before God, my prayer was answered.

The phone rang, and the home visits that the Doctor ordered for Mommy were about to begin.

The nurse on the phone asked if he could stop by in about thirty-five minutes.  "YES," I said, "OH YES, come right away."  And, he did.  He is a nurse, and he knew what to do, and I got my checklists and a few hours later a physical therapist came who did all kinds of exercises and gave me all kinds of tips and who had even more details about how to help Mommy.

We're going to be okay.  We've got some direction.

And, we've also discovered that Mommy loves our Christmas music box.  This was a gift from Stephan's mom several years ago, and I play it a lot over the holidays.  This year, I am already - after only one day of use - playing it more than ever.

I've posted the video on youtube (for that click here) as well so that those of you whose browsers won't play videos on this blog can enjoy this as well.


2 comments:

  1. I am glad you got your checklist! I can tell from her eyes she likes the music box :) I am sure you have started to figure out you have to learn to "read" moms eyes or you won't know what she is feeling, whether it is happiness, pain, or sadness. :( I miss her voice. Maybe she would like other music boxes too. I am gonna look for some when I go to the thrift store today! There is one I have never been to across from the UPS place where I am taking NINE boxes of books today! Most are close to 50 pounds! Yay!! Love you! Praying for you as always!!

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  2. YaY about books, and yes, I've learned it is her eyes that tell what she feels. Her face is almost always frozen in the same expression. I read a story once about how the expression you have on your face when you are at rest tells something about you as a person, and I have that same "stoic" sort of expression on my face if someone takes a picture of me while I'm just thinking. I want to change that before something like this sets in for me. I want to have "happy content" be my default expression. (Although, there is nothing wrong with being a stoic, still it doesn't make for as easy a time taking pictures when your mind is blank more often than it used to be . . . )

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