Thursday, November 13, 2014

Don't worry so much ;) (text from Pete)

Mom's day started a little before 8 AM.  I went in to see if she was awake and that everything was okay before I left for morning Mass.  (David and Stephan were both still home and willing to be there for mom if there was a problem before I got back. So I got to go to church.  I feel that I need as much spiritual food as I can get to keep myself together to be the best help I can for mom.)  When I checked on her, she didn't wake when I opened the door, but she started awake a second later when she became aware someone was looking at her.  So, I kind of wished that I'd just gone.  It takes about forty-five minutes, and then I could have woken her when I got home.  But, there was no way to know if she was just lying awake in here or if she was sleeping without checking.  And, I didn't want her lying awake in the dark alone for all that time.

Since I'd woken her, I turned on the "radio" to the Gospel of Matthew and told her that it was still early and that she should try to sleep a little more.  Her radio is my computer, but it works as well as a real radio and there are less commercials.

At 9:00 -after I got home- I woke her up for her Xarelto.  She had it with mashed banana.  The first few spoons of banana were a little nasty because her daily vitamin was mixed up in them, but the rest of the banana was pretty good.  Her drink was cranberry juice mixed with white grape juice to make it sweet.  It was pretty good.  I had a sip.

To get her into a position to be able to swallow a drink to take her pill, I had to sit her up.  It is very painful for her to sit up in the morning.  I'm hoping that when we get the hospital bed with the working motors it will not be as painful as the motors will move her more gently than I'm able to do.  What I do is to lift the mattress up behind her and shove pillows down into the gap between the mattress and the springs. Then, I stand behind the head of the bed and grab the two top corners of the sheet that is folded underneath her, and I pull her up to sit her up some.  After that, I take the neck pillow that Jeanie made her and put it behind her head instead of around her neck.

When that was done, I pulled up her wheelchair to the bedside to sit in it while I fed her, and she smiled when I asked if it would be OK if I used it.  We held hands while she ate.  (I could hold the baby food jar with my forefinger and thumb while she held the other three fingers of my hand.)  Amanda noticed the day Mom came that she really likes to hold hands.  So, we try to hold hands as much as possible.  As usual, she commented on my freezing cold hands, and (as usual) I told her that I really hoped the saying "cold hands/warm heart" is true.

Now, I need to change her.  Tomorrow, I will change her before I feed her.  (I should have thought of that today as I'll have to put her back down to a lying position to change her.)

Changing is finished.  It's already 10:15.  I used the pull-up, but I ripped the sides and then pinned them back again with diaper pins after I put it on her.  Yesterday, I watched a bunch of youtube videos to learn how a single person could change a person lying in bed.  My friend, Michelle, a nurse, came up just after mom got here and taught me how to do it with two people, and it wasn't that much more difficult to do it with one person.  Mom helped me to roll over and pulled herself with the side rail on the bed.  She was really helpful.  But, she didn't like it that the other side of the bed had no rail - she had to trust me then to roll her over, and she preferred to be in control herself.  That's good.  When she was all cleaned up, I told her that I was going to have an orderly come in and help get her sitting up in bed.  I think calling Stephan and David "orderlies" will put a little understanding on the job that they do.

Stephan and I had a really easy time sitting her up in bed, and I thought that maybe she'd like to look at the blue photo album.  So we looked at it together for a few minutes.  There were lots of pictures of Daddy, and one page said:  "Where's my bearhug?"  So, I read it out loud and gave mom a big bearhug.  I said, "My hugs aren't as tight as Daddy's," and she laughed and said, "I hope not."

She is looking at the flowers by her bed, and I said: "They're called geraniums, I think," and she nodded and said,"mm hmm."  She keeps dozing and waking.  Yesterday, I read that sleep is good, and healing, and to let her sleep if she sleeps, so I am letting her sleep for a while.



  I think I'll take the picture book away while she sleeps as her eyes were filling with tears when she was looking at the pictures of Daddy.  Jeanie advised me that sometimes pictures of Daddy make her really depressed and said to set pictures of Daddy aside for a few days when she was really sad and missing him.   I'll try again with pics of Daddy in a day or so.

She dozed much of the morning.  I vacillate from being glad she's getting rest to being terrified that she is getting ready to leave us.  She woke up when the phone rang and Aunt Bonnie called.  She is having a hard time understanding about the phone.  I think a more traditionally shaped phone would be better for her.  I'm going to try to get one and hook it up to my computer somehow.  She fell asleep during Aunt Bonnie's call, but I could tell that she was really glad to hear a familiar voice.  Some of the "mom" spark comes back into her voice when she is talking to people she knows on the phone.

I woke her up to eat her lunch. She had breakfast for lunch:  Oatmeal with brown sugar and milk.  Today, instead of raisins, she got chopped up prunes in her oatmeal.

Aunt Bonnie suggested that she might like to sing some hymns.  So, I got a hymnal and sang some while she ate her lunch.  We took a lot of breaks during lunch because she kept wanting to doze.  I couldn't get her to sing with me like Aunt Bonnie had been able to do at Jeanie's house, but she did seem to enjoy the music.  She heard "Amazing Grace" - the first verse got repeated about a dozen times because maybe she might remember the words and jump in.  Then, I sang "A Mighty Fortress," "Seek Ye First," and "I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say."  All in between she took bites of her oatmeal and dozed off.

I'm worried because she's sleeping so much today, but every time she wakes up - like when I come in and out of the room or if the hymn playlist I've got playing on the "radio" changes abruptly to a louder song - she wakes up with a smile.  So, I think that today is going pretty well - even though she is sleeping so much.  And, I've got lots of time to write my blog post so that it's word count will get up to "War and Peace" levels . . .

Just now, it's 1:36, I asked her if she wanted some lunch (she's really only had breakfast so far today), and she said, "Not too much," but I'm going to make some potatoes up anyway.  I'll add a little grease I've got leftover from frying David up a steak a few minutes ago.  Hopefully there will be some of the red meat magic in that so that she'll be able to metabolize the iron that is locked up in the potatoes.  (Iron in potatoes is more easily taken in by the body when it's accompanied by red meat.)  She seems to really like eating potatoes.  We'll see how it goes.

She was too tired to eat.  She woke up enough to eat the vanilla yogurt, but she slept through all attempts to feed her the potatoes and the tuna fish salad.

She kept being so sleepy all afternoon.  I got worried and ended up calling the doctor and begging for her to get an earlier appointment - just in case there might be something really wrong.  And, wouldn't you know it, practically the minute I was off the phone after changing the MD appointment, she woke up.  She was all chipper and talking and happy.  Now she's looking at an American Girl catalog as happy as you please.

She and Amanda named the doll Jeanie bought her Lorelei, and I said that maybe we could buy some things for Lorelei from the catalog, and she said, "She never does use anything."

I'm having a lot of trouble getting her to drink much.  Every few minutes, I try to give her more juice. I'm hoping that at dinner she'll be able to use her straw cup.  We'll see.

While we were waiting for Amanda to get back from her run, we listened to "Music for Brain Power" on our "radio".  It's mostly Mozart, I think, and Mom said "yes" when I asked her if she thought it was pretty music.  While Mom listened she continued to look at the American Girl catalog, and I did my prayers.  I thought that taking care of Mom would give me plenty of time for my prayers and Bible reading, but I'm still lagging a little behind today.  (My own fault because I overslept and didn't do these most important things first thing in the morning while the rest of the house was asleep.)

The evening got much more busy.  Amanda and I helped Mom into her wheelchair,  She took FIFTEEN steps from the bed before she was ready to sit in the chair.  She seemed very strong!

After that, we all ate dinner at the kitchen table.  We had South Carolina sweet potatoes (from Jeanie and Al) with butter and brown sugar, and Mommy loved it.  It was funny though because if there was a visible fiber, she very carefully picked it out and placed it on the side of her plate.  She is keeping her fine motor skills in good order with all the fiber picking out.  She had vanilla yogurt for desert.  Delicious.

It's after dinner now, and she's looking at books and mail at the table while we get cleaned up (and I chat a minute with Hannah on the phone).

The kitchen smells amazing!  There is whole wheat bread just fresh from the oven.



Well, I've got the kitchen cleaned, and Mom is reading a book of poems called "A Mother is Love" at the kitchen table.  As soon as Amanda and David get back from a run to the grocery store, we plan to watch a British movie while drinking tea.  (Mom will drink the watered down juice type of "tea").

After that, bedtime for all of us.  So, I'm going to post this now so that I can shut the computer down and concentrate on the people in the house - this computer tends to distract me.

6 comments:

  1. Glad to hear things seem to be going better. Do you know if medicare will provide a hospital bed or are you getting one some other way?

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  2. Marjie tells me that Medicare will write a prescription for a hospital bed for her. Richard, from the Area Agency on the Aging, is coming on Thursday and I'll let you know what he says about that.

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  3. Doing great! I am so thankful for our family and that we all want what is best for mom. Thanks for taking care of her! Two things I thought of while reading...one is yeah she does like holding hands and enjoys hugs and rubbing her back as you stand or sit next to her. Seems strange cause we were never a "huggy" family that I can remember growing up. Other thing is that even when the motors were working on the hospital bed she winced as she was sat up in the bed. :( just an FYI

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  4. Here is an old style handset for $10 that can plug into a smartphone or computer.

    http://www.amazon.com/Echo-Logico-Retro-Handset-Packaging/dp/B007TSRFX6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416162765&sr=8-1&keywords=phone+handset

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  5. Thanks so much, Brian (and Happy Late Birthday!). I've put it in the Amazon cart, and I'll probably order it later today. :-)

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  6. Phone is ordered :-) I think it's going to be much easier for her to talk to people once it gets here!

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